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 Short story-murder mystery

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Sean Connor-The Triple C

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Join date : 2009-03-22

PostSubject: Short story-murder mystery   Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:11 pm

The start of it all

His vision was hazed, but he could make out the dark figures in the background. Two were his parents, and the other was a man of which he harbored anger towards greater even then his will power to live. He sees it all happen before his eyes. The ominous villain raised his right hand. His father stood fast covering the body of his mother from harm. His father raised his hand and there was the glint of a knife clasped in his finger. Then the figure that was his father, so proud and strong, a symbol of love and happiness for his son, crumpled to the ground, as if his life over all meant nothing. He saw his mother scream but stand brave. Then she to collapsed, both of the figures in his life that meant so much, the only figures in his life that meant anything, were gone, killed by a man who seemed to have no guilt, no life, and no thought for life.
Suddenly he woke up. He was soaked in sweat and his eyes were glazed over with tears. Why did his mind torment him so! Was not the actual event enough? But instead his mind had him relive what had happened every god-forsaken night for the last 3 months. The mourners had come and paid their respects the week after his parent’s murder. The funeral had been kept small and solemn. The will was read and most was left to him. He found himself thinking over and over again, “To what end is this all meant for?” ”Is there some greater plan?” His life had in all honesty been ruined.

Depression and vengeance

His parent’s killer had never been found. And since the death of his parents he had fallen into a deep gulch of depression. His life was depression now. I have nothing to live for, no one, and nothing. The only way, he thought, was to unleash a vengeance. He would kill the man who killed his soul and heart, but did not kill him. Then his own life he would take.
The few people who knew the him knew he was always kind, compassionate, and fun loving. If you asked any one of these people they would all tell you the same thing, this man would never lose his interest in life. But he had. The murder of his parents dealt the majority of this blow against him to make him his lose his interest in life. But it was pure hatred that took control of his life; it was that, that in a way finished off his willpower to live.


He had spent the last 9 months looking, waiting, and watching for a tip off, some thing that would lead him to his prey. He had also spent most of the ample sum provided to him from his parent’s on anything that could help him. He also bought a gun, a small pistol; two shots only.
Finally he had found his man, he almost felt joy, until he remembered the task at hand, to snuff out the life of another man, another human being, so that he could have his vengeance. He felt no sadness, no guilt, no anguish about what he was going to do. All he felt was anger, cold hatred, all he felt was the flame that he was about to douse.
At 2:37 that afternoon he had received a call from the private investigator he had hired two months ago. He had told the investigator that he was looking for his brother. The investigator believed him, and now it had paid off. The murderer of his parents had, to no surprise, gone to Vegas. What better place for a man to hide than the place where no one cared who you were or what you had done. He had no exact location (the private investigator wasn’t top notch, just somebody who was good at finding names) so it was going to be a game of hide and seek, with the hider not knowing he was playing.

Getting there

He had driven to Vegas, over 700 miles from where he lived, in an old beat up barley working 1987 Buick, all I need is something that will get me there. It took him 25 hours of driving, without stopping, to reach his destination. He stayed on 1-70 most of the way there, than took the first exit towards Las Vegas. Even though vengeance was first on his mind he realized he must sleep. He stopped at the first cheap motel he saw. It was about ten miles from the outskirts of the city. I do not need comfort, just something to get by on. The room he got was on the top floor, and he hated heights.

So begins the manhunt

He drove his Buick a mile or two into the city then dumped it in a garage. I don’t have any use for this now. First we find him, but how? A phone book, If the villain had wanted to settle down then he must have bought a house and put himself in the phone book. It’s a start.
He checked a good half dozen phone books but found nothing. Darn it, what next? He stepped outside of the telephone booth and headed across the street. Screech a nice 1998 sedan barely missed hitting him. This is a lesson I will have to remember, Everybody is an aggressive driver.
“No, no I’m sorry but we don’t have anybody by that name”. Crap, this is going to be much, much harder than I thought. He had now tried every hotel in Vegas (not the easiest of tasks), and had come up with nothing. He had tried several police stations, and again come up with nothing. Dang it! I’ll never find this darn murderer.
He checked and rechecked everything that he had done. How can I not find him!? It is as if he has slipped through the cracks! Then it hit him. Of course I have not checked the freaking apartments! It was a blunder that cost him two months of wasted time.

The Find

He had checked perhaps about 23 apartments before he found the name he wanted. Floor 12, Apartment 253 on east Santana Drive. He went up to the lobby counter and asked for entrance to the elevator (it was a pretty top notch apartment, pretty tight security). “Who are you?” “I’m his cousin, he invited me over when he learned I was visiting” he answered through gritted teeth. “Hold on let me see if he is in.” Freaken lobby music, Freaken lobby attendant, just more things to get in the way of my vengeance. “Sir, He is unfortunately not in at the time.” “But he should be in later if you would care to come back.” “Yah, I’ll be back, definitely.” Now he would wait. Perhaps he would enjoy the city before he finally achieved his goal, maybe a drink or two.

The City

He hid his gun by the apartment and walked over to what he thought was main downtown. He saw the Excalibur hotel, the Vegas Hilton, and the odd pyramid hotel. He walked over to one of the main bars and was barely able to make it through the crowd to the bar stools. Oddly not as many people were actually at the bar then there were watching the entertainment. Some “family” city this as turned out to be. He ordered two beers, one for now the other for later. He was only fooling himself. He drank both beers in about 20 minutes, then bought, and drank, another three. His vision was blurred and he felt really, really light headed. He was intensely drunk, and it was his first time. He dizzily walked out the door and blinded by all of the intense high voltage neon signs, he passed out.
He came to with an intense headache and couldn’t move. He was also in a jail cell. One of the security guards walked up to the bars. “Look who’s awake, had a bit too much to drink huh?” “First time to the city?” “Well anyway as soon as you feel well enough you can go.” “I feel fine let me go.” “Ok your bad decision.”
He walked out of the police station, his head still hurt, and he was in pain, but what he had waited to for so long was about to be done. He walked back to the apartment, and headed right up to the murderers apartment. He stopped outside of the door and thought, just for a moment, if what he was about to do was justified. It is justified alright, besides not like I’ll be alive to get prosecuted. He casually knocked on the door.


The murderer opened the door, “Hello?” “Hi.” His prey had nowhere to go. The game of hide and seek was over. He pulled out his gun and pointed it at the murderers head, right between the eyes. “You! At last I will have my vengeance!” “No wait! You don’t unders…” “Yes I do! You killed my parents! For no reason!” “No! I’ve changed” “No you have not, and you are going to die, and I am going to meet you in hell!” “No! Please wait, let me explain to you, you don’t know what really happened do you?” “Does is matter?! No, so go ahead, it won’t change your fate!” “Do you know what your parents did for you? They sacrificed their lives for you! I was only going to kill you.” “Then why didn’t you?! Why did you torture me by killing my parents? Why did you even want to kill me?” “Our parents, I was your brother! You did not know about me, but your, our, parent’s conceived me, gave birth to me, than abandoned me. I was going to kill you because I knew it would hurt our parent’s more. Our parent’s didn’t even recognize me! But when I arrived to kill they found me. They knew why I was there, so they gave up their lives, so you could have a life! So that you could live free, and have the ability to fulfill your dreams! And you repay them by wanting to take your own life!?” “But what you did still can’t be excused! You did not have to kill them!” “But I have changed! The moment I killed them I ran I knew that I had done something so… so… terrible. I was so sorry, and still am, and always will be sorry. You are right what I did could not be excused. But I have repented; I have given up the life of remorse and anger I had, had! Why can’t you?” “I… I… I… I don’t know. I can’t just forget about what you did and forgive you!” “I don’t expect you to!” “Then what do you expect me to do!?” “I don’t expect you to do anything. I just want you to forgive yourself. I want you to move on, and enjoy life. I don’t expect you to show me kindness, I don’t expect you to show me life, I don’t expect you not to treat me the way I treated our parents. I just want you to not make the same mistake I did.”
” I can’t forgive you, and I am not sure if I ever will be able to, but I can’t kill you. I can’t treat you the same way you treated our parents, because you are right I don’t want to make the same mistake you made, I don’t want to be like you. But I do expect you to keep changing for the better. And I expect you to turn yourself in. But I also expect to thank you. I expect to thank you for saving my life.” And with that I walked away, never to talk to or look at my brother again.


Today is August 24th, 2014. And it has now been six years since that day in Las Vegas. I am now the CEO of a booming toy company called Toys 4 You (In case your wondering Toys R’ Us shut down in 2011, something about over priced items). Even though my brother committed such a heinous crime I owe him a lot. He turned himself in the day after he changed my life and is serving a 15-year sentence in a low security prison with the chance of early release. Without him I would not be where I am today. Actually without him I would not even be on earth, and people would be paying their respects to my grave. Also, although I told my brother I would never talk or look at him again, I have forgiven him and visit him every once in a while. He has indeed changed, for the better I might add. My wife and I are expecting our second baby any week now and are looking forward to raising a girl. And our son is looking forward to elementary school very, very much. Well I’m late for work even now, and don’t want to miss today; we are testing some new virtual reality games. (Oh and we finally got everything unpacked from our move to Chicago, Illinois)

Sorry about the confusing dialogue, new quotations mean a different person is talking. Enjoy.
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PostSubject: Re: Short story-murder mystery   Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:16 am

I reallly like the story line.

If you ever want to make it longer, and into a longish short story, you could try it from different perspectives? Like, and you can have little snippits of the killing, from both their perspectives. And you dont have to give away that its his brother either, you could still hide it.

Also, you could give flashbacks about why the parents abondoned him.

I really like this whole idea though.
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